Contest Day #7 – Miami Cigars (and Day #6 Winners!)

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Day 7 already? Wow this is going fast! But don’t worry, we still have a few more tempting prizes to give away. And I now have free reign on creative content for 3 days! muahahahaha! 😉 Today’s prize comes to us from our good and faithful friends over at Miami Cigar. It’s no secret we are a big fan of Miami cigars and as Tony mentioned in the original contest post, we named their La Sirena cigar as our top smoke of 2010 and we still both enjoy them quite a bit!

Now Miami Cigars has been a massive supporter of Casas Fumando and we have nothing but respect and appreciation for the great team over there. They have consistently pumped out some top rated cigars that everyone seems to enjoy, especially with the distribution rights to a cigar juggernaut such as La Aurora. Along with that awesome brand they also push well known brands such as the Nestor Miranda Collection, Don Lino, Tatiana, and Casa Miranda. Also, hats off to the company for picking up one of the sweetest, and down right greatest guys in the industy, Barry Stein. You may know him from his previous blog or his antics on twitter. Even before he was with Miami Cigars Barry has always lent a helping hand to us, and has continued to do so. Thanks bro!

Miami Cigars La Sirena

Miami cigars has also been one of the most active cigar companies in the social media world and even helped La Aurora create a brand new line based on requests from social media. That was the La Aurora 107 Lancero, and they even took the first few orders based on social media messages. It’s great to see some cigar companies jumping in feet first and taking advantage of these resources that allow them to reach far across the world.

We have a huge roundup of reviews from Miami Cigars brands, click here to see the search results from the Casas Fumando site.

Now Miami cigars once again provided their awesome support to us and included a wonderful prizepack for a lucky winner that will be chosen today! The prize they have given us is a FULL BOX OF LA SIRENA “A” (or Arielle) and some T-shirts. That is a full 9.25 inches of Connecticut Broadleaf goodness in each stick.

Miami Cigars La Sirena

So now you ask, how do you become the lucky winner of this awesome prize? We’ll continue the easy entries with the simple task of adding a comment to the post below. Since Miami is a popular vacation desitnation let’s stick with the vacation theme…

To have us pick your winning comment, you have to tell us about one of your fondest vacation memories that is either embarrassing or a secret you don’t usually tell others. If you don’t have one, make one up! Be creative and interesting! Feel free to swap any of the embarrassed persons name for Tony’s name in your story! Extra points if you do! lol

Now onto the winner from yesterdays Ortega Serie D. giveaway!

We have a huge flurry of responses on yesterdays post, that was super awesome everyone! As per usual, let’s get to a few honorable mentions before announcing the winners.

Why not kick it off with the man who made today’s contest happen! MCCBarry – When Eddie went to Rocky Patel he secretly wed Nimish Desai, but the world of cigars would react much like Judas Priest when they found out Rob Halford was gay. So since he can’t change his last name to Eddie Desai he put the D on the band to announce his love for the man he wed

DaveFromPhilly – D stands for David. Eddie knew i’ve been buying Murcielago’s, 601 Blues and Reds in mass quantities so he wanted to dedicate his first solo cigar to me. If i were to make something up I’d say the D stands for Dainty, because Eddie lures in his enemies with trickery by using that Dainty smile of an Angel, only to suprise them with karate chops to the Adam’s Apple. But I can’t make something up when i know the truth. And the truth is that he dedicated his cigar to me.

And now onto the winners. We have 3 prizepacks to give away so here are the 3 winners of the Ortega Cigars Serie D. Sampler packs!

Winner #1 – irratebass – The “D” Stands for daring, in a daring attempt to jump ship from a productive/profitable and respected company and to venture out on his own. I was very pleased when I heard the Mr. Ortega was going to go out on his own….being a fan of the 601, Murciealago and Cubano cigars I couldn’t wait to see what was coming on the horizon. Congrats to you for bring so DARING and thank you for the smokes.

Winner #2 – Peter – D would have to stand for “Dominance”. Eddie has always dominated the cigar industry, with his good looks, his friendly composure, and of course, his blends. This is yet another dominating move put forth by Mr. Ortega, and for the price vs. Quality, this cigar will once again dominate the competition.

Winner #3 – Ben – The “D” symbolizes Daniel, EO’s oldest son. The next big release will be the Serie K, representing his other son Kristian, which, oddly enough, brings to the table a flavor profile strikingly similar to that fabled Kellogg’s cereal. The correlation, as Coco Puffs are Daniel’s favorite cereal, it seems natural that the dark and chocolately cigar would be labled the Serie D, and the rumored (as of now) Serie K has a much lighter, bran-ny looking wrapper, and weirdly enough, pairs well with strawberries…

Winners, please email your name, and address to “[email protected]”. Thanks again for every one who entered! Keep the entries coming!

Daniel T. (a.k.a. Dalamscius) is an IT Professional from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He enjoys cigars, scuba diving, hockey, fishing, nature and anything that challenges his mind. If he's not sitting on his big comfy couch or at work you can usually find him in a boat on top of the water or 100ft under the water enjoying a dive. He is engaged to a wonderful Fiance and looking forward to his wedding. Feel free to contact Daniel anytime via email (dalamscius[at]gmail[dot]com). And make sure to follow him on twitter


  1. MCC Barry

    March 21, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Thanks for the kind words, wish I could enter this.. as I have a great story about spring break and 2 girls named Sheila and Michelle.. but alas that is for another time.

    • Tony Casas

      March 21, 2012 at 8:39 am

      And this folks, is why we love this guy.

    • Dalamscius

      March 21, 2012 at 11:08 am

      Feel free to forward pictures to our email address! haha

  2. Andy K.

    March 21, 2012 at 8:50 am

    Favorite vacations. Is well nothing………

  3. Troy Taormina

    March 21, 2012 at 8:59 am

    So speaking of vacations and Miami- on our last trip to Miami we decided to search for the filming location of Dexter’s apartment in the TV Show ‘Dexter’. We found the apartment building but couldn’t see the courtyard behind the fences and gates. My wife noticed there was an opening in the hedges next to the fence, and asked if we should sneak in. Just as we started to crawl through the shrubs, an old lady who lives in the apartment building yells out “Can I help you?!? We took off as fast as we could and burned rubber out of the parking lot leaving only a vapor trail for that old lady to report to the coppers!

    • Tony Casas

      March 21, 2012 at 9:17 am

      anytime I am in Miami, all I can think about is that show. Nicely done.

  4. czerbe

    March 21, 2012 at 9:38 am

    What I’m about to tell you is very True and really Happened. This is all for the Love of the leaf and I trust my BOTL (yeah right) This is a story of how I shut down a Dempsey’s Restaurant.

    The story starts about 10 years ago, when My wife and I spent a night out at a Bar while taking some time off work. After about 5 hours of serious drinking the only thing on our minds was FOOD. So we headed over to our Favorite Drunk Restaurante. We walk in and sit down and I immediately realize I need to be in the Bathroom…. I head in to this small one stall bathroom and start to look around, being so drunk I forget why I’m in there in the first place…. So I figure I must have to Drop a Deuce.. as I sit down and get ready to do my business I get sick to the stomach and throw up in my pants (which are down around my ankles at this point). So I freak out get off the toliet and spin around to puke in the bowl…well you can guess what happened next… Bang Deuce all over the floor…haveing no idea what to do next or what was coming out of me next or which end… I simply pulled up my Pants untucked my shirt… walked out to my wife who was still sitting in the booth and said “we need to leave right now”.. Never telling a manager or a single soul of what happened we ran out of that place, a week later we drove by not intending to ever show my face in that Restaurante again.. it was close and had a For Sale sign on it….

    This is one of those stories I rarely ever tell and now you all know why…

    Enjoy your Lunches hahah

  5. chaase321

    March 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

    My fondest memory was when I was on my honeymoon in Puerto Vallerta. My wife and I were staying at an all inclusive resort (read free drinks to get your drunk and free food to “hopefully” sober you up!). It was the third day there and we were getting pretty tipsy down at the pool bar and enjoying some fine cigars that I had brought along (I was having a Padron 64 maduro at the time). My beautiful wife decided it would be fun to go back to our penthouse suite on the top floor and moon everyone on the beach! So, bless her heart, she started yelling to a group of people on the beach. They started hollering back at here and traced “Nice A$$” into the sand in about 6′ letters! It was even better when they (one guy was actually named Tony) came knocking on all the doors trying to guess ours!!!

    I love this story because when she tells me I have had too much, I respond that “no one is writing about me in the sand!” hahaha

  6. Smoke D

    March 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

    When I was 15, my family and I headed to Florida on a family spring break vacation. We were piled in the mini-van, and 20 hours later, we arrived in Daytona for our first night. Only to find out we were too early to check in. So, we headed over to the beach. As soon as we got there, I saw girls with their tops off. I remember saying out loud, “this place is cool.” My mom was completely embarrassed and was yelling at my dad. But, my dad was pulling out the camera. My dad took it too far too. He was taking pictures of the ladies on the beach and playing volleyball. Needless to say, my dad and I enjoyed our father/son time on the beach that day. We went all over Florida on that trip but that day ended up being the highlight of our Florida vacation. We still talk about it from time to time. In fact, just last month my mom was going through a box and found some of the family photos from our Florida trip. Some of dad’s pics were in there too 🙂

  7. MoBarbq

    March 21, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Most recent mini-vacation I can think of that was memorable was from a trip to Tulsa a couple of years back. Oklahoma’s Green Country! I didn’t make any reservation, because I never had any trouble finding a place, but in this instance, couldn’t find a good place to stay as there were a bunch of conventions in town, so found a roadside joint of questionable integrity. I just didn’t know how questionable.

    At least it said “free internet,” I thought to myself. What a joke. Lady at front desk with meth-teeth said “I really don’t know nuthin’ about how to download that internet.” She gave me a cable saying she thought I needed to plug it in. That did nothing of course, and no wireless networks showing up, so basically they had just heard it was a good idea to put out a sign saying “free internet.” Let the lodger beware, I guess.

    Only thing that could erase this memory would be to have some mermaid cigars, lol. I always did like mermaids, and that’s not a fish story.

  8. Michael Constantine

    March 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

    The men of Miami have fish hooks in their nipples. At least they walk that way. Connected by invisible para-sails far out front, they are pulled down the street chest first. The women of Miami? Incredible. I’ve never seen anything like it. A man’s head is on a swivel that, in the ubiquitous beach shops, along with the sunglasses, swimsuits, and shellacked shells, they ought to sell souvenir neck braces: In 2007 I objectified the women of South Beach.

  9. Todd

    March 21, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Ok, digressing from my “most interesting man in the world” legendary stories, I will shamefully share the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, for educational purposes (and some of my favorite cigars!).

    Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat. I love buffets more than John Pinette and have put four all-you-can-eat steak houses out of business. Well, I also love sushi and have even been embarrassingly “cut off” in front of my Pastor. Well, I wasn’t prepared for what happened when I learned about eating one particular type of fish! I found a place which proudly stated in it’s window that they had all-you-can-eat sushi, so I had to try it out! I went in and was thrilled to find out that they served one of my favorites, commonly called “white tuna.” Well, I hadn’t eaten breakfast and was starvin’! I normally eat about 60 pieces of sushi but this time I probably ate 100, and made about half of that “white tuna.” I was completely stuffed and decided to go shopping to walk it off. Suddenly in one of the aisles I uncontrollably let out a huge smelly “wet one,” and I noticed everyone and everything stop and stare directly at me. I then noticed while I walked faster, a strange cold wet feeling, and I decided to go the the restroom for some inspection. I was absolutely horrified and embarrassed when I looked in the mirror and saw the entire back of my shorts, (and white Polo shirt which was draped over my shorts), had a HUGE orange circle on it, like a bulls-eye on my backside! It blew through to the shirt! I tried to wash it the best I could in the sink and raced out of there, and sped home without sitting. I hurried to the computer, and after some investigation, found out that I ate escolar (it’s not tuna), and it’s even banned in Italy and Japan because it causes people to “expel yellowish-orange drops of oil” (aka keriorrhea), I still eat “white tuna” and love to see it at a buffet, but I unfortunately have to eat a whole lot less of it! Can you shed a tear for me?

    • DT

      March 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

      That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard Todd!!! I’d wear Depends and eat all the white tuna in the place!

      • Todd

        March 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

        Maybe I WILL wear a diaper! If you ever see a guy with baggy shorts eating all the white tuna, you’ve found me! 🙂

  10. abraxas828282

    March 21, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Another great giveaway! I am a big fan of the La Sirens sticks and Miami Cigars! By the way Corey, I have a very similar story. LOL

    • czerbe

      March 21, 2012 at 11:18 am

      Share away Tadd

      • abraxas828282

        March 21, 2012 at 11:33 am

        Dude your killing me, there is already another person on here with two D’s, I only have one. Well my story has the same excretions from both ends but mine happened on the next door neighbors front porch at three in the morning with my brand new girlfriend (whom left me running and screaming) never to be seen again. Oh, did I mention that the next door neighbor was a dentist office! Thankfully they did not have a camera on the porch and never found out who had left them such a nice gift. God I hope no one reads this!

        • Dalamscius

          March 21, 2012 at 11:37 am

          I promise I didn’t read that! 😀

        • czerbe

          March 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

          Tad My Bad… haha To funny did you notice how the over half the stories on here involve guys Shitting themselves!!! I’m starting to question this Site hahah.

        • abraxas828282

          March 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

          Lol, no shit!

  11. ryan schrader

    March 21, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Whats a vacation? Everytime I go anywhere, my wife signs us up to go horseback riding. In vegas, i was mounted by a mini horse..I don’t call them mini anymore. I visited family in Ohio, and the horse threw me off and kicked me. My grandfather held a stop watch the whole time and claimed I did in fact make it past 8 seconds…which is more than I can say about my sex life.

  12. TriMarkC

    March 21, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Wow! Todd’s entry is … ummm … right on the bulls-eye! o_O

    For my own entry, my wife and I took the kids to Florida to do the big “theme park holiday” requisite for all kids. We went to Disney and Universal Studies, and even Sea World.

    We had two very memorable events during this trip.
    (1) We tried to check into our first hotel, but even with reservations they didn’t have our room. They put us up in another hotel less than a mile away, with their guarantee that our room would be available the next day. As you might imagine, this second hotel was nothing like the first … it likely had zero stars. It was so disgusting that my wife refused to sleep in the room – she slept in the van instead. Further, when one of the kids went to use the bathroom she came out screaming bloody murder. I go in to investigate and their was a spider literally as big as my had on the toilet paper roll! We quickly joined my wife in the van that night!!!
    (2) At Universal Pictures theme park they had just opened a new roller coaster – I think it was called The Hulk. I’m a huge roller coaster fan! All my kids were too little to get on, and my wife is afraid of heights, so I conned my dad to go with me. This ride look like any other roller coaster except for three things — your feet dangled (new back then), it had full-360 twisting sections (again, new for back then), and it had a rammed air catapult system instead of a chain-driven gravity feed. After seeing all of this, my dad stuck his chest out and still went on with me. I of course was loving every second of the entire ride…and didn’t notice my dad’s reaction until AFTER the ride ended. He was more than pale white .. he was stone cold white! I asked if he wanted to go again, and not being a violent man, he missed when he swung at me! 🙂 So I helped him off the ride, down about halfway down the exit, and ….. then I ran back to ride again!

  13. TADD

    March 21, 2012 at 11:07 am

    My fondest memory of a holiday…hhhmmmm it would have to be my Honeymoon. MY wife and I spent a week in July on the Gulf Coast side of Sanibel Island. FL. It was by far the most relaxing quiet soothing vacation I have ever had. We had very little plans, the water was crystal blue, and like bath water. The food was amazing and it was hot. I mean super hot. I love it hot and steamy! When I think back to vacations, I always think of how relaxing that vacation was. I wish my vacations could be that laid back…. Now with a family and friends, we never have much time to actually unwind.

  14. GICIGR

    March 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    My most embarrassing memory on vacation is probably when my wife and I visited the Amazon in Peru, just before heading out on our hike our guide stopped us at a termite mound, asked us to stick our hands on it and let the termites climb on. Then the guide instructed us to squish them to release the sweet aroma and oil of eucalyptus tree that the termites feed on, then asked us to spread the oil on any area of our bodies that weren’t covered by clothes as the smell and oil act as a natural insect repellent. I thought about the 3 hour hike that lay ahead which made me squish a considerable amount of termites thinking that it would last me the whole 3 hour journey. As we begin to hike I noticed a termite that must have escaped my death grip and I squished him. We walked a few more yards then noticed another so again I snuffed it out. Then from nowhere I felt my body starting to get Goosebumps and in a rush hundreds maybe thousands of termites invaded my body, after scrambling around and yelling like a mad man I discovered the source of the attacking hoard, my backpack, which I guess they climbed when we were at the termite mound. Embarrassing for me because we were not the only ones in the group, so I had to endure the rest of the long hike as the guy that made a scene. Till this day my wife is the only one that knew about that, and now all of you know it too.

  15. Jesus C

    March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    My fondest vacation moment came when I was about 24 in Cancun Mexico and I was at senior frogs when after a few shots with my friends and all day drinking I ran to the rail by the slide facing the ocean and purged a little alcohol when a sting ray shark swam under the deck, lol so my friends say im the only person they know who threw up on a shark, lol

  16. Tom

    March 21, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    A few years ago my ex-wife, best friend and all our kids were on vacation in York Beach Maine.
    We went to dinner at a nice seaside restaurant, with a beautiful patio over looking the Atlantic ocean. When we arrived we were seated outside.
    We had passed through a screen door that open in to the restaurant. After a fine meal I asked if I could smoke outside, the waiter and manager both said “sure!” Excited I jumped up from the table to fetch a cigar from my car. When u got to the door, I kind of hop skipped through it because it looked like the door was open!
    Nope, the screen door was gone and the sliding glass door, with no markers, and perfectly clean glass was skys in place. I damn near killed myself slamming into that door. I hit the floor flat on my back laughing like hell! Why you ask? Well,, before I hit the floor, all I could see on the other side of that glass door was a lady spitting her lobster into her husbands face! I think the impact oh my 200+ pound body scared her just a bit
    I did get to have my cigar and the manager Tony took care of the check and was very sorry for what happens.

    • Dalamscius

      March 21, 2012 at 1:41 pm

      I think I would pay to see video of this! LOL

      • Tom

        March 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

        Dalamscius, I wish we’d a video camera with us!! Everyone around me, when I hit the floor, thought I was really hurt, and for a minute so did !! My glasses were side ways on my face and all that good stuff, but when they all saw how hard I was laughing they pretty much knew I was OK. That poor lady on the other side of the door was just the funniest damn thing I ever saw! It was almost worth the embarrassment of the moment..,Still makes me crack up when I think of her and the look on her, and her husbands face! That guy was covered in lobster, butter and spit…I think Tony(the manager)gave them a free desert…lol

  17. Jake

    March 21, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Vacation – 2006.
    Location – South Dakota.

    While standing in a Harley-Davidson store, surrounded by a HUGE amount of Harley-Davidson devotees, my then 8-year-old daughter (in her normal ‘I-HAVE-NO-INDOOR-VOICE’) asks me, “Are there really this many people that are into this stuff?” I look around, making eye contact with at least 6 people that have heard her question, and smile. “Yeah,” I tell her, “it’s a way of life for a lot of people. Some of them feel pretty strongly about it.” “Oh,” she responds, “well they just need to GET A LIFE!!”


    I look around again to find that absolutely no one is still smiling as earlier. At this point I try to cover for her. “Sorry. She has Tourette’s,” I say to no one in particular, all the while heading this child towards the nearest exit.

    Did I mention we were in a Harley-Davidson store?
    Did I mention that said store was in STURGIS, South Dakota?
    Y e a h . . .

    Outside, where even more people were standing around, I tried to make her understand that these people wouldn’t be upset with her for saying things like that, but that they would be upset with her Daddy. “You wouldn’t want that, would you.” I asked. “No,” she said softly. “But all these Harley people are GAY and need to GET OVER THEMSELVES!”


    I explained again about her Tourette’s while covering her mouth with my hand and placing her in the car where I informed her she was no longer allowed to speak until she saw a sign that said “Wyoming”.

    From the mouths of babes, huh?

  18. Brian

    March 21, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    My sister-in-law lives in South Florida about half way between Miami and Ft. Lauderdale. We make it down there about once a year in the winter so there are lots of highlights from the many trips. It’s a nice break from our upstate/western New York weather.

    One of the more memorable moments occured about 20 years ago. My wife and her sister decided to introduce me to my first Hooters restaurant. We went to the one at Bayside Marketplace in Miami. It was in February during the Miami Grand Prix – so the place was packed. While waiting in line to use the restroom (yes a LINE for a men’s room – that’s how busy it was) there were 2 guys in front of me kept talking about someone they had just seen in the restaurant. They were very excited but never mentioned a name. All I could gather was that this person was at a window table with a bunch of his buddies.

    Letting curiosity get the best of me, I went on a search to find out who this mystery person might be – thinking that maybe it was one of the grand prix drivers. Much to my surprise, I found the reason for their excitement. Sure enough, at one of the few window tables, there sat 4 time Pro Bowl Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly. I was almost speachless. Hurriedly, I sought out a waitress to borrow a pen, grabbed a napkin and built up the courage to ask for an autograph. At the time, the Bills were on their Super Bowl streak and Jim Kelly was our upstate New York sports hero. I’m sure he just wanted to hang out with the boys for a beer and some wings, but after explaining that I was a huge hometown fan and handing him the barroom stationery, he generously gave me his signature.

    When I finally got back to our table, my wife joking asked if I took so long because I was getting a waitress’ phone number. I told her that I did have to borrow a pen, but it wasn’t for a phone number. Handing her the autographed napkin and displaying an ear to ear grin, she understood perfectly how special this evening had become. Thanks Jim for making my first Hooters trip a lifetime memory. Oh yeah, the wings were o.k. too.

  19. ManinBlack

    March 21, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Vacations always take me back to my childhood going to Colorado to see family. We would all load up in our horrendous blue station wagon and head west. I had the back end to myself being the youngest. The funniest memory I have (funny now, not so funny then) is my father looking under a rock on the banks of the las animas river and finding a rattlesnake trying to stay cool. My dad is about 6 foot and 240 lbs and I’ve never seen him run that fast up the bank, telling us all to get back in the car. And this coming from a man who grew up in the country. But there are so many fond memories like that, it’s hard to pick just one.

  20. BO

    March 21, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    This is a real life freaking Hangover story. True story here. I was on a business trip to New Orleans with my entire sales team and like any respectable man who goes to New Orleans, first things first and I go out to have a drink. Well I may have had one too many drinks (or five) and in my stupor I decided to hit up a strip club. I wanted a lap dance but I actually spent all my money on booze so all I had enough for was to give a girl a sponge bath. Keep in mind im still in my suit for the day. So here I am, piss drunk, in a suit, trying to give this girl a sponge bath, and now soaking wet. I forgot to mention I thought this whole excursion is taking place on foot. I leave the club and I had completely forgotten how j got there, so I just start walking. In the wrong direction, a few blocks out from some nasty gangland a cop picked me up and asked me if i needed assistance. Here I am, piss drunk, in a suit sopping wet, somewhere on my trek I lost one of my shoes, and I have no clue where I am. So I hand the officer my room key and he drives me back ti my hotel, where my whole edging sales team is standing outside together as I step out of the cop car, drunk, soaked, missing a shoe, and grinning ear to ear.

  21. david pyle

    March 21, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Ok, my last vacation something funny and embarrassing for everyone involved happened, I was supposed to pick up my mom from the airport the day after we arrived in Florida. I dutifully went to pick her up, while I was waiting at the gate I saw an old co-worker Sue step through the gates, I hadn’t seen her in 3 years! I ran up gave her a hug and a cheeky double open palmed but lift. She was very surprised, seeing as it wasn’t Sue just someone who looked a little like her from a distance….. her boyfriend/ husband wasn’t too happy either and I hid sheepishly behind a pillar until my mom came out. I wish I had just waved, so much easier to disguise it as a hair sweep maneuver!

  22. aj

    March 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    The time i was at work and i sharted.

  23. Josh

    March 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    My most embarrassing vacation “incident” was extremely painful for me, yet hilarious for everyone else. My wife and I went camping with a few friends and since we arrived late I had to play catchup with the booze. Two hours and half a bottle of rum later I needed to take a piss. I found a nice stump near the lake to take aim from. However, my balance did not enjoy the heights so I had to jump off. My left foot landed in a root hole and I shattered the ankle, and fell into the lake. After hollering for help my wife and friends showed up to help me. After helping me up from the water I realized that I still had to piss. They dropped me back into the water and I ended up pissing allover myself. I somehow was helped to my tent where I passed out. I spent a good portion of the night puking everywhere in the tent (the wife slept in the car). In the morning I awoke to realization that I could feel pain again and smell things too. Not fun. My friends and wife carried me to the car, where I spent the next 3 hours driving to the hospital in puke and pee stained clothes.
    over the next year I had 4 surgeries and spent 10 months on crutches. For the one year anniversary of my stump plunge I was given a video that my friends took of me trying to piss while lying in the lake. Great humor for them, painful for me!

  24. DavefromPhilly

    March 21, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    When i was about 14 I was on vacation with my family in Wildwood NJ. Me and my cousins liked to go out deep and body surf, seeing if we could ride a wave all the way back to the shore. We called the mean waves that held you under “drowners”. We thought they were fun cuz they gave you a scare.

    Well this day the current was really bad but I was always a strong swimmer so I went out anyway. I caught a “drowner”, but this time I couldn’t get out of it. I really thought it was lights out. I felt a crazy bump that finally pushed me out of it and above water. As I was catching my breath, i saw a school of three dolphins swimming away from me about 15 feet away. No bullshit.

    I don’t know if the thing meant to or not, but I’m convinced a dolphin saved my life and I’ll never forget it.

  25. kekoa kai

    March 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    All right then, I will tell you about this special experience so long as you absolutely promise that it goes no further. No-one else is to know. The consequences may be dire. Many people, even people who don’t know me at all may not know this. I am an absolute magnet for females. Well ok, females of the equine variety. Believe it or not, this is a true story. No, really.

    A few years ago, I had just finished a trail ride at a new stable and after grooming the horse I had been riding I took a walk around the farm. There were a number of different paddocks containing small herds of horses. Off to one side of the farm was a smaller paddock containing two young horses, green horses. Ok, I know you are really starting to doubt this story but bear with me. Green horses, of course, are not horses of a colour to blend in with the green grasses of Ireland but horses which have not yet been trained. In other words, these two horses still had some rough edges when it came to interacting with humans. Sisters they were and quite competitive as you will soon find out and as I was about to learn the hard way.

    I wandered over to the paddock containing these two sisters to have a closer look. They seemed friendly enough. They quickly walked over to me and gave me the once over, over the fence. I reached into the bag I was carrying and pulled out an apple. Feeding a piece of apple to each horse in turn, things were going just peachy. Downright civilized they were. Another few pieces of apple to each and things started to turn a bit sideways. One horse pushing the other aside, basically trying to monopolize my attention and get all the apples. What the heck, one more piece of apple I thought and I’d be out of there.

    I held that final piece of apple out to the smaller horse and her sister promptly tried to push her aside. Failing to move her sister completely out of the way, her mouth came down on my shoulder at the base of my neck and chomp! Yep, you guessed it. In a few hours I was wearing the biggest hickey that I have ever had the misfortune to see or will likely ever see.

    Now remember, you promised to keep this story to yourself. Didn’t you?

  26. Victor

    March 21, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    “Last summer, I was so stoked to go on vacation to Miami Beach with my friend Tony. When we arrived, my friend and I decided to spend the whole evening at the beach. I was expecting to meet up some hot chicks vacationing, so Tony decided to wear some white short trunks. When we got to the beach, we decided to go in the water for a bit—and this really hot chick came up and started talking to us. After about 15 minutes of chatting, she pointed at Tony’s trunks and asked, ‘What is that brown thing showing through your white trunks?’ I looked down and saw she was staring right at Tony’s white shorts! I was so humiliated, assuming the worst, ‘Oh my God, I have no idea,’ like it was nothing. I then decided to take a second look and noticed the brown thing that the girl was referring to, of course I thought he couldn’t control himself with a woody but it just turned out that he had stashed a cigar in his shorts but forgot to remove it before getting in the water.
    It was a Sirena Cigars, by the way

  27. Paul

    March 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    On my Honeymoon, in Puerto Vallarta, on a Pirate ship booze cruise, what can go wrong.

    My wife and I go to the back for the eleventeenth time to get rum poured down our throats and heads shaken around, good times. Well on my way back to our seats (my wife walking right behind me), I stop to let my wife walk in the isle in front of me. As she walks in front, I reach in for a double ass cheek grab with a goose shooter. Also good times, except that a dude dressed in pirate gear had cut in front of my wife cause he was in a hurry to get somewhere, he got somewhere alright, gooseville, on the homo train. Immediately after we had an unspoken stare at each other; my eyes said, “Dude, you just cut in front of my wife.” His eyes said, “Dude, I just cut in front of your wife.” He knew what he did and after our look exchange he apologized and went on his way.

    As we were unboarding the pirate ship, I caught him and got my picture taken with him for the photo album. This story is always good for laughs while showing honeymoon pictures. I will tweet the pic so you can see the guy, he kinda looks like Michael Keaton, whatever that’s worth.

  28. TylerLimbrick

    March 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    My senior year of high school, our Spanish class got to go to Peru for spring break and visit Lima, Cuzco, and Machu Picchu. The great part about Peru is that not only is the altitude much higher there than in Virginia (causes headaches, extreme nausea, and dizziness) but the water is also undrinkable (no one told me) and causes…well use your imagination. Not to mention there’s no way to prepare your body for such bizarre food. After about the second day, and well into my 3rd bottle of Imodium, we went to an old Inca village where the infamous dish of all Peru was served. As the dark haired woman came around the corner of the hut, I saw it: a roasted guinea pig the size of a small dog. I said to myself, “When in Rome…errr Peru!” and chowed down. The sides for the afternoon’s meal were cow stomach and some alpaca meat (it tastes just like a llama). That evening we were on a train heading to Machu Picchu when i felt it. That unavoidable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

    Luckily we stopped at a station shortly after to pick up a few more people and there was a “bathroom”. I went into the little hut and found a bucket with the bottom cut out placed over a hole in the ground. After I did my business and walked out, I was greeted my a man who asked “Where’s my tip?”. Apparently at this particular location, it’s common courtesy to tip the man so he can go in and throw a bucket of water down before the next patron comes in. I had no money at all so I just pretended like I couldn’t understand him and shamefully walked away. I thought the awkward ordeal was over until I saw the man walking up to the benches all 25 of us were waiting on. He shouted at us saying, “who is the one with Montezuma’s Revenge who didn’t pay me?! Everyone started laughing and I didn’t want to confess so I gave a casual fake laugh. After about 5 minutes of waiting for someone to come forward he finally stomped away murmuring curse words at us. I’ve never been so red in my life.

  29. cjrio

    March 21, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    All right this may be a little long but bear with me. And no, this story does not involve any bathrooms. So,

    >Some friends and I headed down to Ft. Lauderdale for a week
    >have an old friend of mine watch the house.
    >Let’s just call this friend “Tony”
    >We go way back
    > Always messing with each other but nothing serious you know? Just a good guy you can joke with.
    >So we’re at the beach (minus Tony), wrecking havoc on the local women and liquor supplies
    >I get back next monday nursing a hangover and sunburn
    >open the door.
    >My stomach turns remembering the last time I pranked Tony
    >House is a mess, the grim remains of a party’s havoc
    >empty drinks everywhere, even some girl’s under garments in the bathroom
    >I got up to my room, it’s immaculate.
    >my humidor is untouched (Thank god)
    >folded neatly on my bed is a note,
    >”Double check the front lawn”
    >I run outside, scan the yard,
    >and freeze in shock.
    >my heart stops as I stare at the “For Sale Sign” I somehow missed from the driveway
    >the bastard put my freaking house had been put on the market while i was away.
    >answering machine flooded with calls,
    >but the icing on the cake?
    >the “open house” that I was scheduled to host the next day.

    that was the last time I left “Tony” in charge. Worth it for a week of vacation in Florida? Totally.

    • Tony Casas

      March 22, 2012 at 7:23 am

      Tony, like most other Tonys, sounds like a badass.

  30. jimbobber

    March 21, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    A few years ago, I vacationed in The Netherlands and had the opportunity to see Dutch rocker Anouk in concert. On the way to the train station after the show, I was mugged by a drunk chick who tried to steal my souvenir t-shirt.

  31. eunoia

    March 22, 2012 at 2:14 am

    Last time I was in Miami Beach I was sitting at a terrace café waiting for someone when Bruce Campbell and Gabrielle Anwar sat at a table not far from mine. Trying to be smooth, I sent them over some nachos and they graciously invited me over to sit with them since I was alone. We chatted about Bruce’s movies which I’d all seen and segued into talking about Gabrielle’s dad who is a 2-time Academy Award winning film editor while I tried unsuccessfully not to make her uncomfortable with my raging attraction to her.

    Next thing you know, we’re pounding back tequila shots and getting real chummy and the most embarrassing thing happened: I woke up naked on my kitchen floor with my dog staring at me with a look on his face as if to say: “You’ll make up any fake story just to get those cigars!”

  32. eunoia

    March 22, 2012 at 2:16 am

    P.S. for full points, amazingly, my dog’s name is Tony.

    (O.K. I made that up too, I don’t even have a dog.)

    • Tony Casas

      March 22, 2012 at 7:22 am

      I was about to say, I bet that dog is super handsome.

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